


A Series of Shorts

by Saria_Strategos



Category: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter - Seth Grahame-Smith
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-02
Updated: 2013-01-10
Packaged: 2017-11-23 09:52:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 7,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/620820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saria_Strategos/pseuds/Saria_Strategos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because my friend and I have a competetive streak  a mile wide, we challenged each other to write ten thousand words in four days on anything we wanted. </p><p>Here is a collection of ALVH short stories that I wrote during that challenge.</p><p>She won, by the way, but God help her next time. There will be blood.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Fluffiest thing I have ever and will ever write.

**Author's Note:**

> God, I hate how stupidly sappy this is. It won't happen again, it makes me sick. The later chapters will be better, I swear.
> 
> Also, Not sure if Henry can read minds in the book or just influence others, but here, he can read Abe's.

It was one of those nights that are so rare as to be treasured when I truly felt the oddity that was my life. 

We’d woken up late that evening, Henry and I, and as we woke to see each other’s face first we couldn’t help the smiles that bloomed across our faces. We exchanged lazy kisses for a time, simply content to lie in each other’s arms in what I had come to consider ‘our’ bed instead of just his.

I felt as though a spell had been cast over me, his eyes were so mesmerizing even as his hands glided up and down my back and ribs, attempting to distract me from them and very nearly succeeding as they passed over the sensitive skin of my side. I’d always been quite ticklish just there but I would be damned twice over before I let him discover that. I would never hear the end of it.

“I’m very sorry, my dearest Abraham, but I already know your mind” Henry said suddenly as the thought crossed me and I realized his hand had stopped directly over that very ticklish spot and stayed still as death over it. An impending promise and threat and his relaxed smile sharpened into that of a deadly smirk. I tried to give him my most piteous look in the hopes he might have mercy on me.

But I didn’t really expect mercy from my vampire.

“Yours now, am I?” The smirk quirked higher. Oh how I wished sometimes that he would let my thoughts be, but it wouldn’t be the same.

“So you have vowed, Henry, to be mine until the end of all things if I remember correctly” I returned his smirk with one of my own, taking great joy in reminding him of his promise to me.

“If that is the one thing you remember correctly until the end of days, then I shall be a happy man” I refrained from reminding him he was no longer a man, so to speak. It was a turn of phrase and by the roll of his eyes I knew he still maintained his link with me and so knew my thoughts. It was then I felt the first twitch of his agile fingers against my ribs and I tried again for a pleading look, biting my lip to try and stifle the very masculine giggle that attempted to leave my throat.

“Henry-“ Another twitch. “Snrk”

“Very dignified” He was grinning now, the bastard, nearly laughing in my face as I fought to keep control.

“Henry, please-“ 

“Please what, Abe?” Even his eyes were laughing silently at me.

“Please, don’t do this to me-ACK!” His fingers began to dance along my skin, causing me to let out the most God awful shrieks that he would tease me for later and I would deny making.

I pushed and shoved him to no avail as his hands continued to torment me until I finally jerked so hard I threw myself from the bed and was finally able to breathe. I lay there, staring up at the ceiling, sure a silly grin was on my face as I regained breath I didn't need when Henry’s face appeared over the side of the bed. He looked down at me, grinning his devilish grin, hair quite mussed from it’s usual style that reminded me of a rooster.

“Seeing as you’re so content to lay around all night, I shall see to breakfast.” He leaned down to place a final kiss upon my lips and then got up from the bed, pulling on his trousers, leaving the suspenders to hang limply from the waist and pulling on his, no, my white shirt. It fit him poorly but I could not deny I enjoyed seeing him in my clothing, the fabric falling well over his hands and hanging off his shoulders. He gave me another cocky smirk and tucked in the front, leaving the back to drift behind him, calling to mind some specter floating through long-empty halls.

I chuckled at him, for what else could I do? And lay there for a time, listening as he went down the stairs and out the door. The house was quiet for a time though I could hear all the sounds of life outside my window. The brief thought of why I was still on the floor passed through my head but all the heed I gave it was to reach up and take a pillow – Henry’s pillow – from the bed to rest my head upon as I waited for him to return.

When I heard him reenter the house, I expected him to come straight back to the bedroom, meal in tow, and so I was quite surprised to hear him puttering about in the kitchen for what seemed like an age.

Finally, my curiosity got the better of me and I rose from the floor, leaving his pillow there for him to find, and ventured down the stairs. I found him over the sink, my shirtsleeves rolled up passed his elbow, wielding a knife. I came up behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist, closing my eyes and breathing deeply the scent of his hair. He never smelled of decay, as I once thought he might, but rather of the woods we fought in and the soaps he used to bathe in more regularly than most. He’d once told me that bathing relaxed him, feeling clean giving him peace. I had joined him in his ritual bathing on occasion and had to agree the warm water put me at ease. More so with Henry in my arms.

When I had taken my fill of sniffing his hair, odd even by our standards and Henry liked to point such a thing out to me, I rested my chin on his shoulder, quite a considerable distance, I must say, and opened my eyes. To my shock the sink had a very large bucket placed within it and within that was nearly half a man, the rest of him I’d failed to notice upon my entry draped across the counter, propped up with several objects to elevate the body. His throat had been cut across and he was steadily bleeding out into the bucket while Henry rubbed and massaged his victim’s back to maintain the blood flow. My mouth dropped open in shock and I looked quickly to Henry for an explanation.

“I thought I’d bring it up to you in a nice decanter with wine glasses, but now you’ve spoiled my surprise” Henry said, pretending to pout at me in dismay, but the sparkle in his eyes told me he enjoyed my shock. “I was going to put the rest in the ice box and heat it up later.”

How very resourceful my Henry was.


	2. Bedsheets are the real enemy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abraham has trouble with the bedlinens, Henry helps. Abe is a stubborn brat sometimes

Henry sat downstairs by the fire, reading a book of ancient lore and chuckling quietly to himself at the mistakes people who claimed to be experts had written about his kind. Garlic? Really? Yes, it was strong, but the only vampires it would repel were the freshly minted.

Suddenly he heard a strange thumping coming from their bedroom. Looking to the study's doorway quizzically he lowered his book and listened for other noises to give him an indication of what could possibly be banging in the other room without him as the source. It was more of a rather muffled thump than a bang, he decided, accompanied by a quiet curse from Abraham, whom he knew to be in there. Finally there was a louder thump, a louder curse and then silence. 

Henry decided to investigate.

Pulling himself from his armchair, he set his book aside and made his way towards the other room. He continued to hear nothing from the bedroom. Looking in the door he saw Abraham staring at the bed. More specifically, one unmade corner of the bed that looked like it was putting up a very good fight.

“Abraham, is the bedding winning?” he asked, walking into the room to further assess the situation. Abraham glared at him for his inquiry.

“I can get every other corner tucked under except this one and no matter what I do it will not work” He huffed.

Henry stepped up beside him and surveyed the damage. “There's this odd fold, that's why, there isn't enough to tuck under” He said, reaching forward and straightening the offending linen, tucking it neatly down and under the mattress. “There now, the enemy is defeated.” He clapped Abe on the shoulder, rocking him.

“...Thank you, Henry, you've done me a great service by vanquishing my foe.” He muttered. Then promptly yanked the corner free again so he could fix it himself.


	3. Abe's not a fan of parties or new shoes.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If it isn't one thing it's another, first the shoes, then the too warm fire, then a lapful of vampire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know where in the canon timeline this takes place, but it's when Abe is still among the living.

Why had he come to this gala? He was no good at them and he scarcely knew anybody present, but Henry had insisted they both attend. The hostess was a good friend, he'd said. Abe thought they weren't allowed 'good friends'. 

In any case he was here now and he had nothing to do but fumble awkwardly around the other guests. There were so many of them he could scarcely move and all the seats were taken. God how he wanted to sit and rest his aching feet. Henry had brought him these new shoes to wear and they were still not worn in yet. 

After circling the room twice more a large chair by the fire had finally become vacant. He fell gratefully into it in an ungainly sprawl of limbs. He was most certainly not the most refined of attendees and the other guests let him know it with the condescending looks they sent his way.

He couldn't care less.

Gosh this really was a very large chair. No reason to have such a large chair. Or such a large fire, not with the number of people in attendance or the warmth of the summer night. In place of his sore feet his discomfort became that of overheating and he tugged at his collar. He spied Henry crossing the room towards him, not a trace of weariness about him and silently begrudged the man his comfort. That is until Henry unceremoniously dumped himself into his lap without warning.

“Henry, what on earth do you think you're doing!?” He exclaimed, eyes darting about to the other guests who were staring openly at them as Henry sprawled across him and whatever else of the chair he hadn't managed to occupy.

“Just resting, Abe, I've been on my feet for some time” He replied, tucking his hands discreetly under Abraham's jacket. “And I've come to steal some of your warmth, since you seem to have an abundance of it.”

“Really, Henry, this is undignified! People are staring!”

“Let them stare, this is probably the last time most of these people will see such a divine sight as the two of us cuddling on a chair by the fire. We make quite a fetching picture, you know”

Abe's mouth opened and closed several times, not knowing what to say. Henry ignored his gaping expression and simply huddled closer, crossing his feet at the ankles over the arm of the chair. God, he was like ice, his hands cool against Abe's sides.

Slowly, Abraham realized that he was gradually cooling down, now that he had a lap full of vampire. Well...if Henry was going to steal his warmth, that made it only fair for him to steal some of his chill.

Suddenly, having an unwelcome guest tucked up against him didn't seem like such a terrible thing and he put his arms around his waist. To steady him.


	4. Vespa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're all the rage in Italy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got this prompt from ImagineyourOTP over on Tumblr when I needed a quick idea. I'm not even sorry.

Even over the little motor, Henry could hear Abe grumbling behind him, arms wrapped loosely about his waist and they rode along.

“Come now, Abe, don't tell me you aren't having fun!” He laughed, turning his head slightly to look at the man scowling and trying to make himself look as small as possible so as not to attract attention to himself. Fat chance of that ever happening.

Henry had gotten it into his head at some point that he needed a vespa. Not wanted, needed. And so he had come home that morning and excitedly pulled Abe from his rather comfortable chair, lead him outside and shown him his new toy. The shiny red vehicle sat there, glinting in the sun as he stared at the tiny thing and Henry went on and on about gas and distance and things Abe didn’t have much care for. Look at the thing! Sitting there, pretending it could be useful, like a real motorcycle and not some useless imitation.

“It’s all the rage in Italy.” He was saying.

“But we are not in Italy, Henry and there is no way I will get on that little monstrosity.” Henry looked hurt. Henry looked crushed. Henry looked destroyed.

Henry looked smug as he sighed his resignation and consented to a short ride.

“Henry, I feel ridiculous on this thing, I’m too big for it!” He protested from his place behind his joyful driver.

“You need to stop being preoccupied with your size, my dear Abe, and just enjoy the wind in your hair!”

“There is very little wind, Henry, this thing isn’t going very fast.”

“There is no awful horse smell”

“I liked the horse smell. And besides, there haven’t been any horses or carriages for so many years it hardly makes a difference.”

“Look how easily we zip between all the cars!”

“Look at all the people laughing at us from inside those cars”

“You just want one of your own” Henry laughed, leaning back into Abe’s chest and patting his thigh. Abe unconsciously wrapped his arms around his waist a little tighter.

“I really don’t” Abe chuckled.

“We shall get you one in black. Or perhaps blue. Then we can race”

“I wish you wouldn’t, I won’t ride it.” God, he could rest his knees on his elbows if he leant forward a little more. “I’d prefer a real motorcycle, a full sized one.” Henry made a humming noise that Abe could feel in his chest and dreaded what might come of it.

“Would you race me on a motorcycle?”

“I should think I’d be more inclined to, but it’s too dangerous for the others on the road” Oh dear lord, what had he done.

“But if I could bring us to an empty stretch of road? One with no people on it?” There was his thoughtful smirk, spreading right along into his evil one.

“Well…” Suddenly they turned into a parking lot. Oh God, it was a motorcycle dealership.

Henry stopped his little toy’s buzzing and pulled out the keys, patting Abe’s hands around his waist. Abe promptly released him and they got off the vespa, Abe stretching out as much as he could.

“Be a dear and pick one you like, I shall do the same and then we’ll see about finding some riding leathers in our sizes. They may have to custom make them for your monstrously tall and lanky frame.” With that he winked and wandered off through the rows of gleaming motorcycles, quickly intercepted by one of the salesmen as he just stood there gaping. And then he shrugged his shoulders and began looking around the lot for the motorcycle he’d had his eye on in the magazine.

And Henry knew it, too, the bastard. He’d driven him straight to the bike’s dealership.


	5. Gangnam Style

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abe has trouble keeping his feet, Henry does not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am also not sorry for this.

With a resounding crash, Abraham found himself once more trying to hold himself up unsuccessfully with a chair as he tripped over his own feet. He laughed at himself and climbed back to his feet. Dancing wasn’t easy in his day, so why was this one ridiculous step giving him so much trouble?

Taking a deep breath, he rewound the video on his laptop again and stood back, hopefully away from all of the furniture, crossed his arms in front of him at the wrist and when the chorus started he attempted the strange hopping the Korean man on the screen was doing and once more his feet slipped on the carpet and he stumbled. 

This was getting ridiculous now, it was just hopping and pointing one knee out! He settled down to watch the video again to see what he was missing. Three more rewatches and he was ready to try again when Henry came into the room and closed the screen.

“Henry! I was trying-“

“Yes, Abraham, trying. Trying and failing to master one of the most ridiculous dances of this age that you cannot even use were we to go out dancing. It has been three hours of hearing your cumbersome behind crash to the floor. There will be a hole in it before long.” Abraham blushed and smirked as he lowered his head and promised to take a break, it would still be there later. “Thank you. Now, I’m off to run some errands. I’ll return shortly.” 

Then Henry turned on his heel and much to Abraham’s surprise, galloped out of the room in a perfect imitation of Psy doing his Gangnam Style dance. He didn’t even have the decency to look back or smirk at him, just kept a straight face as he hopped out of the room and down the stairs, leaving a hysterically laughing Abraham in his wake gasping for breath on the carpet and resolving to master the dance before Henry returned home.


	6. Call Henry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keeping with the ridiculous dances, because they amuse me. Henry can dance to anything.

“Oh my God, Henry, what are you doing?” Abraham sputtered, walking into the kitchen to find Henry bopping back and forth around the room to the radio which was playing an appallingly catchy tune.

“Go ahead and take a guess, Abraham, it shouldn’t be that hard” He said, rather sang, to the beat of the song over the actual words as he danced over to Abe to snatch a quick kiss on his way to the fridge.

“It would appear you are doing some form of dance” He laughed as Henry swung back around to dance him around the room. He was a disgustingly good dancer, picking up almost anything he saw very quickly and putting Abe to shame. Abraham was not a bad dancer, but with this new age’s music, he thought everybody much looked like they were either having a seizure to music and having public sex, and neither was for him.

“I am very attached to this song at the moment and when it comes on the radio I simply can’t help myself” Henry had chuckled back at him as Call Me Maybe continued to play and he danced with Abraham, albeit more sedately, around the room. 

When it was done, Abe had no idea what he’d come to the kitchen for in the first place.


	7. B Movies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry adores B movies, Abe doesn't know how a man with such good taste in literature can have such terrible taste in films.

“Oh, Henry, no, must we?” Abraham complained from his seated position on the couch.

“We must, Abe, we must! It is a gem!” Henry gleefully replied, sliding the disc into the DVD player.

“But we’ve seen Battlefield Earth once before and that was most certainly one time too many! That movie is truly terrible!” 

“I promise you, this will be fun!” Henry kissed his now miserable friend and settled excitedly next to him on the couch, taking the converter and muting the sound.

“Henry, How are we supposed to hear what they’re saying?”

“We don’t my dear Abe, we make our own dialogue! Think of it as an exercise in creativity.”

Yes, this would be a long night, but slightly more enjoyable now that he didn’t have to hear the Psychlos ridiculous laugh.

“This is a serious stain on Travolta’s record” He commented, stealing some of the popcorn from the bowl in Henry’s lap as the movie started up. “This movie is even worse than Sands of Oblivion.

“Mm, yes, but does it ever make for excellent critic fodder.” He agreed.

The movie began and to Henry’s delight, Abe was the first to comment,

“No, no we can’t close the gate! Father I won’t let you leave him!” He cried in a high falsetto voice that had Henry snickering.

“He’s a ratty kid with a thick brow, you dumb twit, go after that big one over there, he can take care of you” Henry replied.

They didn’t watch much of the movie so much as reenacted it to each other, changing their voices to suit the role and laughing hysterically between scenes. When Henry grunted and mimicked the strange coughing noises in a poor rendition of a caveman, Abe lost it for good and that was that. It was a short movie night and ridiculous on all counts, but well worth suffering through the bad acting.


	8. NOT A CHAPTER, JUST A QUESTION.

If you've made it this far, I'm impressed and grateful to you.

Now I have a question; I have two other short stories that I've refrained from posting due to them having an OC and I know lots of people don't care for them, myself included. But some people do enjoy/don't mind them. My question is this, do you care to read them? Should I leave them out entirely or post them and put OC in the title so you can skip over them?

I only ask because I have another, separate work I'll be posting that does have her in it for a small amount of time and one of the short stories I haven't posted is how they met her. The next work I want to post is a series of bits and pieces about Abe and Henry, like little snippets of their character, and she happens to be mentioned in two or three of them. I can leave those bits out no problem with the next work, it won't hurt anything, but I found I really enjoyed a piece with her in it for Abe and Henry's characters.

Feedback is most appreciated.


	9. Henry is a warmth stealing cat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from the ALVH kink meme on LJ
> 
> Prompt: Henry can normally pass for human, but there are somethings he dose that are usual and distinctly non-human. 
> 
> Henry's been alone for so long he doesn't always understand social norms. 
> 
> Sometimes he'll lean against Abe uninvited because he likes the warmth and the sound of Abe's heart beat. Sometimes when he is against Abe he'll even gently need his claws on the couch or Abe's leg (like cat's do). Abe doesn't mind.

Abe usually didn’t notice his friend was…anything other than human. Not because he chose to be ignorant of this fact, but because Henry acted human very well. Except sometimes, when he wasn’t paying attention at all, well…

Abraham wouldn’t call it being vampirical or anything of the sort. More, to the outside observer, like a man unfamiliar with social etiquette. He was polite, to be sure, all manners in place, the odd snarky remark aside, but he seemed to have no real concept of personal space every now and again. Like moving on autopilot he naturally drifted to heat sources. Sometimes, that heat source was Abe, being the largest in the room aside from the fireplace.

They would be talking, neither paying close attention, and then suddenly they would bump against each other. When this happened, Abe would put out a hand to Henry’s shoulder steady him and Henry would look startled and confused, having made it a point long ago to always be aware of his surroundings and would chalk it up to Abe shifting, all the while leaning into the warm hand. Abe thought the same, though he couldn’t remember ever moving his feet. Just to be sure, he once marked the ground where he stood during just such a conversation by placing a nickel on the carpet in front of each foot. By the time they connected again, the nickels were still lined up with his toes.

Abe didn’t tell Henry, just smiled at the knowledge. 

The same happened when they sat together on a couch. Henry would lean closer and closer until he finally slid sideways off Abe’s shoulder and landed sprawled across his lap. They would look at each other quizzically, Abe lifting his book and Henry apologizing, he must be tired, before sitting up again. When it happened a second time, Abe put that hand back on his shoulder and told him to rest if he was so tired. Henry would pause for a moment, then shrug and snuggle into his lap, stretching his toes out toward the fire and together they’d sit.

This would lead to another strange habit Henry had. When Abe had come to stay with him when his training started, he’d thought Henry kept a cat, judging by the state of the couch arm and sometimes the tabletops. There were scratches, sometimes gouges in the wood, and the fabric of the couches and chairs were raised. After some observation, Abe came to notice that the marks were wherever Henry tended to rest his hands when his mind was preoccupied. He would knead at the material, pulling it up and scratching it with his nails while in thought, when he was reading, or even just relaxing.

When they ended up on the couch in such a position, after a time, with Abe reading and Henry watching the fire, Abe would feel a gentle, rhythmic pressure on his leg. Looking down he’d notice Henry’s drifting eyes and see him beginning to knead his trousers like he did the couches. 

Even though he’d lost a few good pairs of slacks to the action, Abe didn’t say a thing to Henry, just smiled and went back to his reading. It was relaxing, the constant motion, and he would start to rub up and down Henry’s arm. This would incite a sort of rumble that wasn’t quite a purr or a growl and Abe really didn’t have a term for it, but it made him stifle snickers right up until the kneading began in earnest and became almost painful. Then he’d focus on controlling his expression so Henry wouldn’t see him wince every so often when an over-zealous nail dragged along his leg.

Abe didn’t really mind, not much anyways, and certainly not enough to care to alert his friend to his odd behaviour. This was how he knew Henry was at his most content.


	10. Henry LOVES Gravy - OC

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry doesn't need to eat, but he likes to. He misses the flavours and the act, much like he still enjoys drinking whiskey and smoking. He especially loves beef gravy. And man, that is the best meat pie he's tasted in a long time.
> 
> This story has an OC.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I know this is a little out there for the vampire loving community, but I think vampires COULD eat, they just don't NEED to, so they don't bother most of the time, preferring the nutrition they get from blood. Also, food digests much more slowly for them, so they feel full for longer and can't drain an entire human. This allows more than one vampire to live in an area at the same time because if they eat a meal, they can only really drain half a human's blood. Sharing is caring and all that. They still get the nutrition they need from the blood, they just might feed twice a week instead of once or however often they need to.
> 
> The beef dish recipe Henry loves so much I found here  
> http://thehenryford.org/ViewRecipe.aspx?recipeID=92
> 
> The gravy sopping biscuits  
> http://thehenryford.org/ViewRecipe.aspx?recipeID=87
> 
> Alternate biscuit recipe  
> http://thehenryford.org/ViewRecipe.aspx?recipeID=80

They’d gone to this pub many times now and though they did not normally eat, not having such a need being vampires, they still enjoyed the act. They’d had a different meal each time and Henry had shared his plate while stealing from his own. Eventually, Abraham had just rearranged the table so that both plates were in the middle and they could just pick at both of them and this became their habit the following two times they visited. The only constant dish at the table was a beef dish covered in rich gravy with vegetables. 

Henry loved this dish so much that he ordered a plate of biscuits with it to make sure he was able to sop up all the gravy. Abe was sure he'd have to stop him from licking the plate on their first visit.

“I must meet the chef.” Henry had declared this time, a change from their usual routine. That routine being come out for dinner, have a drink, talk for a while and then go and find a person to replenish their blood. They would share that meal too since the real food they ate took longer to digest for them and neither could drain a whole human after a meal. Oh, but Henry was getting up and stalking to the kitchen while Abe had been puzzling over his sudden change.

He quickly got up, picking up his jacket from the back of his chair and hurried to follow after him as he opened the door to the kitchen while the barkeeper was busy at the other end. As he walked through, the smell of stew and bread filled his nose and he took a moment to breathe deeply before turning his attention to the only other person in the room besides Henry and himself.

It was a young woman, in her twenties he would guess, bustling about the kitchen as quickly as possible, her plain , rather worn brown skirt pinned up slightly in the front so as not to hinder the swiftness of her feet. Over her skirt was an apron that was surprisingly still very nearly white. Her blouse was of an equal shade and rolled up to her elbows to keep out of her way while her hands measured and stirred, poking at things in the oven and on the stove top and serving up dishes for the patrons in the bar. Her dark hair was pulled back in a bun underneath a bonnet, a few strands having slid out to fall about her face in her haste. Her cheeks were flushed from exertion and when she stopped to notice the two men standing and watching her move about the kitchen, he saw her eyes were blue.

“I’m sorry, gentleman, but you shouldn’t be back here. If you’re waiting on your order it’ll be a few minutes longer, I-“

“Madame, we have already received our meals and enjoyed them thoroughly, hence our little visit to your kitchen.”

“Oh. Well, I’m very glad to hear you enjoyed them, thank you.”

“Perhaps you don’t understand, I have enjoyed my meal thoroughly for the last week and wish to offer you a position in my household” He removed his sunglasses as he spoke, looking her in the eye and waiting for her response. He’d not mentioned a thing of this to Abe, who was a little taken aback.

“Henry, what-?” Abe started.

“I beg your pardon, sir?” The woman began.

“Abraham, look around, she is clearly underappreciated here if the state of her dress and the bedding in the corner is anything to go by.” 

“Now see here, sir-“

“What does he pay you, sixty cents a day? This kitchen is spotless and your fare is superb, he is not giving you your due. Come work for me and I shall see to it you are well compensated.” Again he looked at her expectantly.

“Henry, may I speak with you a moment?” Abe asked.

“Certainly. Madame, think it over a moment while I consult with my friend.” They stepped into the corner and the woman got back to her work, her hands moving automatically as she thought, sending puzzled looks their way every now and again.

“Henry, what are you playing at?” He asked “You said yourself we can’t have-“

“Friends, but she isn’t a friend, she’s a cook and a damn good one. We like her food, we hate this establishment, I intend to fix this problem for all involved.”

“50” The girl said with a scowl on her face when they turned to her. “The bastard only pays me fifty cents a day. He was the only one hiring when I got here so I accepted.”

“…pack your things, madam, we’re leaving immediately.”

“Wait wait wait, I didn't say I would come with you, just said he paid me next to nothing”

“Which is a tragedy and I intend to see that changed.”

“I don't know who you are, you don't know my name, I don't know the terms of my employ-”

“She's right, Henry we know nothing of her and with our work-”

“You will be paid a sum of two dollars a day to cook for us when required, keep my kitchen spotless and provide me with a list of things you require or are running short of in the kitchen. It will also be necessary for you to keep your mouth shut about anything and everything you may see in our home that may seem out of the ordinary. Am I clear?”

“...What sort of-”

“The sort of stuff you will not speak with anyone of, present company excluded. Our work is delicate and strange but very, very important.”

“...Where will I live?”

“A room for your personal use will be provided. As well you will have free access to all common rooms and rooms that are unlocked, which are many. You are welcome to dine and converse with us, we genuinely will not care if you choose to join us for a tea and a chat as we enjoy talking greatly. All this, plus a wage four times what you are currently earning and the only inconvenience to you is that you will have to turn a blind eye every now and again. There is even a library which you may make full use of.” She looked down and shuffled her feet.

"I cannot read, sir, I was never taught. I know all of my numbers and some simple math, but that's about it." 

"Then as an added bonus You shall be taught to read by my friend and I. Consider it extra incentive." Henry smiled at her reassuringly when she looked at him wide-eyed. "Until you are able to read on your own, I am quite fond of reading aloud." He added.

“Give me a minute to talk to my boss” And with that she quickly strode out of the room, leaving them alone while she went to handle business.

Henry grinned widely at Abe who shot him a wary glance. “This is a terrible idea, Henry. What if what she sees is not worth two dollars to keep her silence on? We kill people Henry!”

“We kill vampires”

“She cannot know that!”

“We never bring the bodies home and she will never see us feed. Where is the problem?”

“The problem is inviting a stranger into our home where any number of things can happen or go wrong!”

“I think you're more concerned for our sex life”

“I think you are insane.”

“Well that could be an interesting development” They turned around to see her standing there looking at them, hands on her hips.

“That will be one of the things you will have to turn a blind eye to.” Henry replied smoothly.

“I don't have a problem with it” She shrugged.

“...Most would call our relations abominable, unholy and disgusting.”

“That's most people, not myself. I couldn't care less, though I will say I am a little disappointed, knowing I'll have no chance with either of you” She replied dismissively, walking over to her little corner and packing what few things were hers into the blanket, tying it together to form a sack. Abe simply stared at her while Henry's grin broadened.

“What did your boss say?” He said, placing his glasses back on his face and looking her over.

“Oh he screamed at me and called me an ungrateful harlot and a no good street urchin so I decided to live up to his filthy names, spat in his face and walked away from him. I recommend we hurry” And that was that, Abe took her bag from her wondering what had happened in the last ten minutes and Henry escorted them both out the back door, linking arms with each of them.


	11. Special Delivery - OC

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harriet encounters some trouble coming home one evening. Henry and Abe benefit from the result.
> 
> This chapter has an OC.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote these before I read the book, so in this story Henry owns an actual above-ground house in addition to a basement.
> 
> And if anyone has a better name than Harriet, I'd like to hear it.

There was a commotion in the kitchen, some banging and several voices, only one of which belonging to their cook, which should not have been sounds coming from their kitchen at all. Henry and Abe left the office they’d been discussing their work in and headed down the stairs. They heard several farewells and then the kitchen door shutting again before the door to the hall opened and Harriet came out, looking rather haggard even as she tried to push her hair back into some semblance of order and they noticed her blouse was torn.

“Oh! Gentleman, I’m sorry if we disturbed you.” She smiled up at them, smoothing her skirts down.

“Who was here and what was the commotion, Miss Harriet?” Henry asked when he reached the bottom of the stairs, Abe not far behind him.

“Some ladies that lent me a hand. I actually have need of your assistance on a matter if you wouldn’t mind joining me in the kitchen?” She asked, already half turning back the way she came. Henry’s suspicions were raised as much as his interest peaked and he looked back to Abe.

“Ofcourse, what can we help you with?” Abe said, stepping passed Henry and following her into the kitchen.

“Well…I hope it isn’t presumptuous of me but. Well this man attacked me in the streets on my way home and some of the ladies of the night came to my rescue. The four of us managed to wrestle him off me and render him unconscious but we didn’t know what to do with him. In the end, we bound him and managed to drag him back here.” She opened the door as she told them her story and walked to the back door of the kitchen where there was indeed a man lying, bound in various widths of rope and twine, and breathing as though he were simply asleep.

“What was wrong with going to the guard?” Henry asked, looking down at the man coolly and working to keep his fangs in his gums. This was the sort they usually preyed upon, the low and no good, rapists and thieves, people who would not be missed.

“Considering streetwalkers were the only people that would help me, and you know what the guard thinks of them, I did not believe we would receive any aide, rather the opposite in fact.”

“And you want our help to bury him?” Abe asked, also trying to keep his nature in check. They hadn’t fed this evening and now that he thought about it, not since the day before yesterday and his body began to cry out for the man’s blood in earnest.

“Well, yes, after we’ve put him to use, ofcourse” She replied, looking down at the man.

“To use?” Henry looked back to her instead of hungrily at the man by their collective feet.

“Neither of you look well, I am guessing you haven’t fed recently”

“You provided a lovely meal for us not two hours ago, before you left for your errands” Abe too was now looking up at her. Something was amiss here. 

“I meant fed on blood, sirs.” Both their eyes widened as she continued on. “Do not think me stupid, gentleman, I have seen your decanter and notes in your study when I came to fetch a book, as you well know, Mr. Sturgess. Coupled with your nocturnal habits it isn’t hard to figure out who, or rather, what you are. Call me superstitious but my grandparents used to tell us stories from back home and given the evidence I'm inclined to believe them. Now your colour is off and I have heard you both discussing the type of individual you prefer to take and I rather thought this wretch fit your bill.” 

They stared at her as she explained herself. This wasn’t supposed to happen. They liked her, they didn’t want to kill her now she knew their secret! Her stew was a delight!

As Abe’s thoughts warred Henry stepped forward. “You’ve a quick mind, Harriet. I must ask you why you do not find it disturbing that you live with two vampires that may in fact kill you for your own blood?”

“I haven’t slighted you. Nor am I a murderer or thief. I have no reason to fear you, you invited me into your home to provide you a service which I have done well.”

“And our feeding on other humans who are less fortunate than yourself as to not have our favour?”

“The way I see it, sir, you’re doing the justice our courts are too lazy to do. No one else is removing the blights from our society but you gentleman and you always treat me well. This man is my would be attacker and I would see him dealt with, heaven knows I would never be listened to in a court of law.”

“And is that the reason you haven’t gone to the law or an angry mob to turn us in?”

“You pay me good money to keep my mouth shut about the unusual around here sir and no one that doesn’t deserve it is being harmed.” There was silence after her declaration, a smirk on Henry’s lips while he contemplated her. Finally, he smiled.

“I knew I liked you, I just didn’t know all the reasons.” Henry laughed after a moment “Promise me you’ll never leave, you are too interesting.” 

“I assure you, Mr. Sturges, I’m quite comfortable here. Now, I don’t know how you want him, it’s not particularly my area of expertise, but I thought I’d just string him up over the basin there and cut his throat so he’d drain out.” 

“Heaven’s, woman, you’ve thought on it, haven’t you? This does not disturb you at all?” Abe exclaimed, staring at her.

“It did at first, but as I went through my options, this one seemed easiest and most logical. I will need help with the body afterwards though, I hope you don’t mind.” 

“…Or we could just bite him?” Abe suggested.

“Oh, but then you’ll make a mess of yourselves when it spurts out and blood is the devil to wash out!” She looked at him like it was his idea that was unfathomable.

“My dearest Harriet, you are ever the logical being. Come Abe, we must help the lady with the evening meal.” Henry continued to laugh as he and Abe tied a rope around the man’s feet, Abe reminded of his first vampire hunt, while Harriet pulled the large washtub over and they strung him up together. Henry did the honours, both he and Abe feeling Harriet had done enough in her part of this, and together they watched him jerk and twitch as his blood steadily filled the basin beneath him.

“Huh…I thought there’d be screaming” Harriet commented when nothing but choked gurgles accompanied the act.

“Not when the throat is cut that deeply, there’s nothing to scream with. Nevermind they can’t fill their lungs with enough air to do it.” Henry commented absently. Abe stared at them both in some form of horror.

“You are both twisted individuals.”

“Says the man who’s going to be drinking the blood and burying the body.” 

“Yes, Abraham, who are you to talk?”

And thus was the beginning of a new arrangement that was convenient for all, full freedom of speech now being possible. Henry and Abe began teaching her ways to defend herself so she wouldn’t have a need to call on the assistance of others were she to be in trouble and Henry gave her a silver dagger to keep on her at all times.


End file.
